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The new voting machines look familiar.

April 4, 2016

new voting machines

I was going to make few jokes here at the expense of the current presidential candidates, but at this point they honestly don’t need any help.

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Things that go “fist bump” in the night.

March 18, 2016

fist bump in the night

I know it’s been a long time since I posted any content on this blog, but my kids are growing up a bit and I find I have (slightly) more time on my hands.

Our youngest child is now three years old.  Unlike many others of his age, he has never resisted his bedtime.  In fact, he has a grand time rushing through an increasingly lengthy string of goodnight sayings to each member of the family.  These currently  include: good night, sleep tight, sweet dreams, night night, I love you, and see you in the morning.

However, the speed at which he rattles these phrases off at makes it sounds more like – “Goodnightsleeptightsweetdreamsnightnightiloveyouseeyouinthemorning!

It is usually the last thing he says before he  closes his door for the final bedtime story and snuggle with his Mom.

However, the other night he opened the door again seconds after closing it.  I waited to see what adorable phrase he was adding to the mix now.

He looked at me with his large ernest eyes and said very quietly, “Our house doesn’t have any ghosts…”

“…anymore.”

The door began to shut again.  Just before it clicked, he cracked it open once more and whispered, “Don’t be scared.

As I said above, I finally have enough time to start posting some new drawings.  Goodness knows I’m not using any of it sleeping anymore.

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Few things can ruin a tough guy image like training wheels.

February 16, 2015

tough guy training wheels

Everyone knows that younger siblings emulate their older ones.  It’s an important part of child development and growth.  Small children learn by watching and then doing.

I know this.

I understand this.

The only problem is that our youngest (2 years old) is a boy and the older ones are both girls.  The result of this is that my son’s favorite hat in pink.  He enjoys dancing.  He loves sparkles.  His favorite dress-up clothes are actually just dresses.

He is only 2 years old.  He has no real gender identity yet.  He is simply imitating his beloved older sisters.

I know this.

I understand this.

I’ll just keep repeating these phrases to myself.  I’ll repeat them loud enough that I can’t hear him asking to have his nails repainted…

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All societies have their snobs (300th post).

July 4, 2014

water snob

This marks my 300th post on wordpress.com.

I’m pretty sure that’s important.  I think there might be a special VIP club for 300 post snobs like myself.  Or does 300 posts earns me a major award?  A personal letter of recognition from WordPress founder & CEO Matt Mullenberg wouldn’t be amiss (along with some stock options).

At the very least, I think I’ve earned some frequent flyer miles.

If 300 posts won’t get me any perks at WordPress, perhaps a few of these other stats might:

  • total number of comments = 1,220
  • total number of blog followers = 9,298 (wow!)
  • total number of cartoons posted = 355
  • total number of posts published in a print magazine = 2
  • total number of tattoos that were inspired by my drawings = 2
  • total number of  Thai restaurants illegally using my artwork = 1

Even the Thai restaurant display is flattering (in a way).  Here are photos of the Thai restaurant in question and my original art:


Broccolimy broccoli

If the owner of this Thai restaurant is reading this post, please contact me so I can… thank you… for displaying my art in your fine establishment.

 

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His creative outlet is quite literal.

June 12, 2014

creative outlet

I have talked about my brother before on this blog.  He is a wonderful and very artistic young man.

He also experiences autism.

His creativity and his strong literal sense combine to form a very interesting outlook on life.  Although he has many strengths in his personality, spontaneous humor is not among them.  Because of this, my Father was determined to teach Joe how to tell a joke.  He started with the old classic, “What’s black and white and read all over?”  When the punchline of, “newspaper” was given, Joe would act confused.  Dad would explain the wordplay involved and why it was funny.  Joe would then agree newspapers were read all over the world, but would never break even the slightest smile during the exchange.

As time went on, they went through the same routine repeatedly.

Most men would have admitted defeat.  Most men would have simply accepted that some battles were not worth fighting.  My Father was not most men.  Again and again he would patiently march once more unto the breach – continuing to practice the same joke with the same results.

Every.  Single.  Time.

In fact, it went on for years.  As time passed, the explanation of the punchline and Joe’s expressionless reaction became a tradition that proved far more entertaining than the original joke ever was.  It played out more times then I can possibly count.  It gradually became an in-joke for our family.

My Father passed away six years ago.  Although I tried to continue the tradition, it just wasn’t the same.  We still joked about the exchanges, but it was relegated to category of fond memory.

During dinner a few months ago, Joe surprised everyone by asking, “What’s black and white and read all over?”  We all sat in stunned silence for a moment until my oldest daughter finally asked, “what?”

Joe replied with, “A newspaper…”

And after a heartbeat’s hesitation added “… that’s read all over,” while breaking into an uncontrollable fit of the giggles.

 

 

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Somebody is feeling lucky!

March 16, 2014

In early February, I received an email from a lovely young woman named Jay.  It read as follows:

Hey! So, recently I decided that I really wanted a lucky rabbit’s foot tattoo. Desperate for ideas, I tried a Google search. Luckily (ha ha),  I found your awesome sketch and fell in love. Your sketches are fantastic! I saw someone else had tattooed some of your artwork and I decided that I would join the club. And, well, I figured I’d send it to you!

Voila! Hope you dig it.

Cheers,
Jay

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Here is a photo of Jay’s awesome new tattoo.

lucky rabbit foot unlucky rabbit

Here is the original comic (rotated for comparison and for people web surfing while lying in bed).

Well, I do dig it Jay!  I also think your tattooist did a great job creating  the illusion of depth with his/her shading technique.  It looks great and I am deeply honored to know that there are at least two people now permanently wearing one of my little pictures (here is the first).

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Not many can claim such a refined pallet.

February 23, 2014

refined pallet

In 2013, my wife and I made a different type of New Year’s resolution.  Rather than working on changing ourselves, we decided to focus on spending time together and trying new things on a monthly basis.  As anyone with young children knows, time is always at a premium and we wanted to make sure we had some time reserved for us.  We ended up spending our “us time” reading some new books, cooking a few interesting recipes, and creating a handful of surprisingly beautiful art projects – all together.

It was obviously a more enjoyable resolution to keep than loosing weight or exercising.

For 2014, we wanted to try something that would continue focusing on the time we spend together as a couple.  We settled on a bi-monthly wine and cheese night.  This is a pretty big area of novelty for us because, until now, we have both been non-drinkers.

So far, the cheeses have been quite good (with the exception of a gruyere that smelled/tasted like a dirty old gym sock wrapped in a dirty old jockstrap).

The wines have been a bit more hit and miss.  We tried a very dry red which was fairly harsh.  There was a pink moscato that was very, very acidic.  The two ice wines we have sampled both proved to be quite tasty.  We even bought an expensive aged tawny port that tasted exactly like prune juice and gasoline.  The best so far was a nice Moscato d’ Asti – very light and sweet.

When ranking our picks thus far, we discovered that if we simply listed the wines from the lowest alcohol content (5%) to the highest (20%), it correlated exactly from our favorite to least favorite picks.  The less alcohol in the bottle, the more we enjoyed it.

Essentially, we like grape juice.

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