Archive for February, 2010

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Maybe the broccoli doesn’t like you either.

February 28, 2010

EDIT:  Due to several recent emails regarding broccoli t-shirts, I finally set up something on spreadshirt.com .  I remade the design so that it was more “t-shirt friendly” and I think it actually looks pretty cool.  If you are interested you can check it out at:

http://inkjot.spreadshirt.com/

I always hear people complaining about broccoli.  It seems to be an unpopular vegetable.  Personally, I love broccoli.  I can only assume it loves me too.

 

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Largemouth bass fiddle and the chaos theory.

February 26, 2010

If you are a bass fisherman, I apologize for the inaccurate rendering of the fish.  If you are a bass fiddle player, I apologize for the rendering of the fiddle.  If you don’t like bad puns, you should probably visit a different website.  I can’t apologize for everything.

I think most people are familiar with the Chaos Theory (thank you Jurassic Park).  If you have heard the theory before, the explanation in the drawing will sound very simplistic and somewhat slanted.

If you haven’t, please ignore the previous sentence.

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Dummy bears and restless peg syndrome.

February 25, 2010

I hate gummy bears.  For some reason they hurt my teeth.  Still, they’re not as bad as Skittles.  Skittles make my upper lip sweat.  Yes, really.

Ever see those ads on television for restless leg syndrome?  This is the same- just funnier.

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Negative people and a ladybug.

February 24, 2010

This drawing took at least twice as long to draw as the average.  I finally gave up trying to fill in all the space with my fine-tipped pen and switched to a Sharpie.  It was much quicker, but also much more damaging to my brain because I forgot to open a window.

Ouch.

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The same cartoon twice.

February 23, 2010

As you can see, I drew the same cartoon twice.  They are as close to being exact copies as I can manage without tracing.  I decided to draw it twice because I had just finished the top picture when I thought of a funnier caption (dang it!).

Although these drawing are only small sketches on yellow sticky notes, my limited drawing skills make creating them a laborious process.  In other words it takes time.  With one child and another on the way in a few short weeks, time is something I simply don’t have.  I suppose I could have just photoshopped the images, but……………… I……………… um…………….. (dang it!).

I should have just photoshopped it.

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Overdressed penguins and serial killer bees.

February 22, 2010

He may be overdressed, but he never worries about what to wear.  Recently it came to light at work that I wear the same 5 sets of clothes each week.  I have a Monday outfit, Tuesday outfit, etc… Before you judge how repetitive or strange this might be, know this:

It took 6 months before anyone noticed.

While I have taken some good natured ribbing from coworkers, obviously my weekly wardrobe routine was not as socially awkward as one might have thought.  Besides, Einstein wore the exact same outfit every day.  Obviously, I’m just a borderline genius.

This is my best attempt at a unibomber-ish insect.

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Pigs CAN fly.

February 21, 2010

Another pig-focused drawing.  Unlike most of the other pictures I’ve posted, this one could almost be inspirational.  Almost.

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Baby teeth and asexual reproduction.

February 19, 2010

Everyone knows about the tooth fairy.  When you loose a tooth, you put it under your pillow at night and wake in the morning to find money in it’s place.  When I was young, my teeth were worth a nickel.  It was very exciting every time it occurred.  This week, a six year old told me that he received $10 for his tooth.

$10.

I’m not old.  I’m not even close to old.  Yet, that child’s $10 bill represents a 200 fold increase in tooth value from the time I was young.  I think we can conclude only one thing from this trend.

Forget stocks and bonds – invest in teeth.

Perhaps a career in professional three-legged racing is in his future?

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Bigger is not always better and a petite elephant.

February 18, 2010

Then again, I could be wrong.  Check out the facial hair at the World Beard and Mustache Championships:  http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/

I am a very wise man.

My wife is currently 8 months pregnant.  Even though it has absolutely nothing to do with her, I decided not to show her this drawing.

As I said, I am a very wise man.

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Static electricity super powers and an old man.

February 17, 2010

You must shuffle quite a bit to build up super power levels of static.


It’s not the wrinkles or liver spots that make him old, it’s the combination of a collar shirt under a sweater.

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A loud shirt and the most annoying letter of the alphabet.

February 16, 2010

This is one of my very favorite things to say to people with brightly colored clothes.  Feel free to use this line also.  It is guaranteed to make you laugh.  However, it is not guaranteed to make you friends.

Don’t make me say it again.

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Taekwondo boy and a man who is all ears.

February 15, 2010

He might actually look tough if he weren’t still wearing his little neckerchief.

Yuk, yuk, yuk.

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She was surprisingly light on her feet.

February 15, 2010

My daughter doesn’t often say anything about my drawings, but she thought this one was really neat.  I would be flattered, but three year old girls love anything with tutus and tiaras.

5″ x 7″ ballpoint pen, felt tip marker, and watercolors.

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George Clooney’s eyes and glasses for two noses.

February 13, 2010

I started drawing on sticky notes almost a year ago.  This was one of the first ideas I drew.  I redrew it recently because the original drawing was in ballpoint pen which doesn’t scan as well as the felt-tip pen I used this time around.

Like left-handed scissors, these are very difficult to find.

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Floating eyes and a monkey hairdo.

February 13, 2010

I drew this because I felt like doodling a floating eyeball.  I’m sorry.

After I drew this picture I did a web search for “monkey mohawk.”  The search resulted in nearly half a million hits.  I present this as further proof that the internet is full of mostly nonsense.

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A clown and funeral attire.

February 12, 2010

Another victim of clown profiling.

My wife looked at this one and almost did an honest-to-goodness spit take.  It was a good reaction.

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Three nostrils and 1% milk.

February 11, 2010

I love this one.  Nobody I showed it to was overly excited about it, but I think it is probably my favorite so far.

I thought about two things when I was drawing this picture.

Firstly, it’s interesting that milk is not a typical liquid.  It is actually a special type of solution called a colloid.  Colloids are mixtures where one material is dispersed uniformly throughout the second material.  In the case of milk, butterfat globules are the substance that is dispersed evenly throughout the mostly water liquid.  This is virtually the only thing I remember from the four years I spent earning a BS in Biology, so I feel it is important to pass along.

Secondly, drawing a milk jug is hard.

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The world and unstoppable socks.

February 10, 2010

I’ve always thought these song lyrics sounded vaguely ominous.

My Father spent his life wearing white, knee-length athletic socks.  He wore them every day and in every situation. He even wore them with shorts (although thankfully his shorts were much longer than the gentleman pictured above). He continued to do so until my Mother started calling him “Bavarian Boy.”  He still wore the long socks, but he rolled them down to a mid-calf position.

His socks couldn’t be stopped.

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One cup of coffee and Qu.

February 9, 2010

I made it through high school, two undergraduate degrees, marriage, and a Master’s program without ever drinking a drop of coffee.  Then there came children.  Now I drink a cup of coffee roughly this size each morning.

I can’t think of a single word in English that has a “q” without a “u.”  Can you?

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A boot shaped like Italy.

February 7, 2010

Sometimes, when I really like one of my sticky note drawings, I draw it again on sturdier paper and add watercolors.  I thought it would be appropriate to post some of the painted drawings on Sundays. Newspapers have done it forever and it seems appropriate.

5×7″ ballpoint pen and watercolors.