Archive for March, 2010


He suffers from lungfish.

March 31, 2010

Please take a moment to admire the finely drawn clavicles in the above picture.  They give the subtle impression of the patient being nude without showing actual nudity.


Albino polar bears.

March 30, 2010

At least they wouldn’t generate much interest from me.


Don’t hug trees (unless they say its okay)

March 28, 2010

Please don’t be offended.  This is not a joke about environmentalists.  It’s a joke about snobby trees.


Ignore the full moon.

March 26, 2010

I realize this drawing might be of questionable taste.  I’m hoping that by including the word “phase” into a joke about the moon, I might have lifted it to a higher level.

If not, I’m okay with that too.


Surprisingly average eyesight.

March 25, 2010

I wear contacts.  I wish I didn’t.  They take too much time to put in and take out again every day.  I would gladly wear glasses instead, but for one thing.

My ears.

As I said in an earlier post, my ears are over a quarter inch out of whack.  The disparity is much more obvious when I wear glasses.  So…

I don’t wear glasses.


Exercise routine in futility.

March 24, 2010

You may have noticed that I have only been posting one drawing a day instead of two.  With a new baby in the house my energy level and stamina feel like they are on par with the fellow in the picture above.  I’m hopeful she will develop some regular sleep patterns soon.

I think she can.  I think she can.  I think she can…


A black hat.

March 23, 2010

The “black hat” trend hold true in many situations.  Here are the ones I can think of:

  • Old west villains
  • 30’s era gangsters
  • Blood-thirsty pirates
  • The New York Yankees (Yes, technically they’re navy blue, but that’s close enough.)


March 22, 2010

I’ve known my wife since high school (although we were only friends until college).  At the time, Riverdance fever was sweeping the world.  I remember another friend and I made lots of jokes about Riverdance every time we saw it on the shelf at the movie rental place.

One day Riverdance was playing on PBS.  In some strange attempt to get to know me better, she decided to watch it.  The entire thing.  From beginning to end.

When she excitedly told me she had watched it, I had to tell her that I was only ever making fun of the cover.  I would certainly never watch it.  According to my wife childbirth and Riverdance are the two things in life I can never repay.


Tastes like chicken.

March 21, 2010

Another water color drawing means it must be Sunday again.  My birthday is coming very soon.  In our family, you get to choose dinner on your birthday.  I always choose the same thing… homemade fried chicken.


Rabbi sideburns and an unsympathetic ear.

March 20, 2010

Sideburns have always been troublesome for me.  I spent several years in college sporting sideburns of various sizes, but they almost always looked lopsided.  I could never get them straight and it hurt my young ego to think I was walking around with crooked sideburns.  I complained about it to my then-future-wife.  She looked me straight in the eyes and told me that my sideburns might look uneven, but they weren’t.

It was my ears that were crooked.

Sadly, this is not a joke.  Even worse, it was true.  My ears are more than a full quarter inch out of alignment. The fact that my face was lopsided was obviously a larger problem than any facial hair issues.  But I found a solution.  I got married.  Now it doesn’t matter what I look like.

Just so you know, that is my attempt at shading in the ear.  It is not wax.


Contracting every five minutes.

March 19, 2010

My wife and I have been quite busy since the birth of  second daughter two weeks ago.  We were both caught a little off guard, because she decided to arrive fashionably early (at 35 weeks instead of the full 40).  Despite this, she was born at a strong and healthy 7 lbs 1 oz.  If she had patiently waited until her actual due date, she would have emerged on April 4th.

Easter Sunday.

You may wonder what day could be more fitting to share a birthday with than the greatest feast day of the Christian calendar – a day celebrating life, birth, and hope?

Apparently, March 4th.

It might not be Easter Sunday, but it is Senegal National Day! If you live in West Africa you are already impressed.  If you live anywhere else, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.  March 4th is also Benjamin Harrison Day AND National Grammar Day (the latter being informal only).  It USED to be the Presidential Inaguration Day – before it was changed in 1933.

Not satisfied yet?  Well, March 4th is Craig T. Nelson’s Birthday.  Yes, THAT Craig T. Nelson (remember the sitcom Coach).

Oh, wait… his birthday is APRIL 4th…

I guess he’ll share his birthday with Easter this year.


Polka dots and a thrift store shirt.

March 2, 2010

I am so, so, very sorry for this one.  In case you can’t tell, those are dots wearing lederhosen and funny hats while playing accordions.  I drew it so I must post it.  Keep moving, the next one it better.

I am very frightened of thrift stores.  It’s not the old clothes.  It’s not the velvet paintings or the wooden dishes.

It’s the germs.

I am a “germaphobe.”  I freely admit this.  I am not a tissue-boxes-instead-of-shoes germaphobe of the Howard Hughes variety.  I am just very aware of washing my hands, breathing through my nose, and not touching things that might be horribly dirty and covered with germs (i.e. anything in a thrift store).  It could be that everything is washed before it is put on the racks, but looking at the clothes at our local thrift store – I don’t think so.


An enormous shrimp and retro stuff.

March 1, 2010

This drawing is in the same vein as the petite elephant posted prior.

Our family’s first cellphone was a Motorola that looked just like this one.  My father commuted an hour each way on a disreputable Alaskan highway.  The cellphone provided everyone some peace of mind when he was an hour or two late due to an accident closing the roads in winter.

It was a fairly early cellphone so it was roughly the same size as the one in the picture above.  I’m sure it was also about as safe as strapping a leaky microwave to the side of one’s head.