Archive for April, 2010

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Prescription strength novelty glasses.

April 30, 2010

This started out as a drawing of regular glasses, but somehow just got out of hand.

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It was time to get the mole on his cheek removed.

April 29, 2010

A few years ago I had to have a mole removed from my shoulder.  There was a very large man in the waiting room.  Very large.  He was wearing the biggest and dirtiest pair of overalls ever and spitting tobacco juice into a soda can.  Not exactly the ideal waiting room companion.  I tried to avoid eye contact, but he still spoke to me.

He said, “I hate the radio.  That music has too much &@$#ing bad language.”

Seriously.

What do you say to someone who uses foul language to complain about swearing?  I’m not sure because before I could say anything he followed up with…

“I only listen to opera.  It’s way classy.”

Who knew the waiting room would be more painful than the minor surgery I was waiting for.

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His fear of public toilets was becoming a critical issue.

April 27, 2010

More than any other cartoon I have posted – this is me.  I am absolutely terrified of public restrooms.

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Freedom bread.

April 26, 2010

Remember when french fries and french toast  were renamed “freedom fries” and “freedom toast?”  It seemed silly, but there was actually a precedent.  During World War I we renamed German Measles as “Liberty Measles.”

huh…

I can see wanting to stake a claim on something as tasty as french freedom fries, but wouldn’t it have made more sense to go ahead and blame the Germans for Rubella?

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This power tie takes it to the next level.

April 25, 2010

Personally, I don’t wear ties very often.  I only wear them for weddings or funerals.  Odd that these two events are at opposite ends of the social spectrum, but they have the exact same dress code.  Hmmm.

I own two ties.  I actually only ever wear one of them because the other is very ugly.  I should give the ugly one away, but I can’t.  I’m not sure why.  It could be many reasons, but I think it could be because I need the illusion of choice.  Obviously I’ll never really wear the ugly tie, but as long as it is in the closet I could. Especially if I ever wear the really ugly shirt that also lives in the closet.

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Let’s put the “party” back into search party.

April 23, 2010

Next time you host a search party, make it an unforgettable one.  And if you added dancing and a live band, who wouldn’t want to be found!

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Spring fashions of the far north.

April 21, 2010

It is April 21st and I am still looking at snow in my backyard.  How about you?

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Abe Lincoln’s other hat.

April 20, 2010

Abraham Lincoln was a legend.  When I read his writings or speeches, I am amazed at his ability to express grand ideas with simple words.  He stood firm where others would have failed or compromised.  He exemplified the idea that anyone can succeed despite humble circumstances.

BUT he was born and raised in Kentucky.

So… I’m gonna go with my gut and guess he would have loved NASCAR.

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As impulse purchases go, it was a doozey.

April 19, 2010

The golf bag I drew is based on my own golf bag.  When I was in college I played quite a bit of golf when weather permitted.  Because my friends and I were poor college students, we couldn’t afford to rent clubs and I was the only person who owned a set (a wonderful present from my parents).  This was a problem.  The local course didn’t allow two players to share a set of clubs let alone a foursome.  Our solution:

We each learned to play with three clubs.

My “set” consisted of the putter, a nine iron, and a five iron.  I actually didn’t do too badly.  The original five iron was broken/replaced by one of my friends early on.  He replaced it with a used $8 five iron.   A used children’s $8 five iron.  A used children’s five iron that was also quite blackened and burned from being used repeatedly as a fire poker. (really)

Nevertheless, I can still hit fairly straight and consistent shots of almost 200 yards with my old, used, child-sized, fire poker.  Too bad it’s the only consistent thing in my golf game.

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Raise your heart rate without exercise.

April 18, 2010

I’m not a big fan of soft drinks.  Especially the “colas.”  They are way too sweet for me.  The commercials always show people running or playing basketball and then chugging a Pepsi or Coke or whatever.

Personally, I don’t think my stomach could take that much sugar right after a workout.  It would… rebel.

If you are unlike me, and like soft drinks, then here is a possible benefit you might not have thought of.

You’re welcome.

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Dogs in clothes.

April 16, 2010

The dogs that live in our house wear clothes.  Not all the time, mind you.  Just when they go outside.  That doesn’t make it right.  One dog has a sweatshirt just like the one in the picture.  That’s bad – but it isn’t the worst.

One of them has a fur coat.

And just so there isn’t any confusion, I’m not talking about the fur coat it was born with.  During winter when our dog does it’s business, it does it in a (faux) fur coat.

Has the world gone mad, or just my family?

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iCod

April 15, 2010

My Father loved puns.  He made them all the time.  He thought they were hilarious.  I did not.  The whole family would greet those puns with a uniform groan.

Now look at me.

Dad would be proud.

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Would a rose by any other name…

April 14, 2010

Time for some blog stats!

  • Total number of posts = 50
  • Days since blog began = 72
  • Total number of drawings = 76
  • Most visitors in a single day = 140
  • Different visitor countries of origin = 19  (United States, United Kingdom, Canada, Brazil, Malaysia, Russian Federation, Taiwan, Belgium, Hong Kong, Pakistan, Turkey, Romania, Israel, Australia, Vietnam, Thailand, Republic of Korea, Singapore, New Zealand)
  • Time wasted drawing/scanning/typing = unknown
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Reuse, reduce, recycle (just not everything).

April 12, 2010

I saw recycled toilet paper in the store.  The label said it was made with “80% post consumer content.”  Rationally, I know it was recycled from other types of paper.  However, I can’t seem to shake the irrational fear it may have been toilet paper before.

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Intimidating in the ring.

April 11, 2010

Hmmmm.

I like the idea on this one, but I’m not that happy with the painting.  It looks pretty rushed.  Probably because it was.  Oh well.

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It’s only a 15 watt idea.

April 9, 2010

It wasn’t until I drew this that I realized ideas in cartoons are symbolized by lightbulbs because they are “bright ideas.”

That is probably something I should have figured out earlier in life.

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Ninjabread man.

April 8, 2010

The Ninjabread Man.

Someone needs to update the classic story with this twist.  It would be the best children’s book.  Ever.

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He never has bad hair days.

April 7, 2010

Wow.  With different eyes and a squiggle on his shirt, this guy would look like Charlie Brown.

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Now it’s ultimate frisbee.

April 5, 2010

The term “ultimate frisbee” is a misnomer.  Adding an exciting descriptor doesn’t really make a sport any more impressive.  If it did, everyone would be playing extreme horseshoes and ultra bocce.

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Cowboy coffee.

April 4, 2010

The above picture is a painted version of the very first sticky note cartoon I drew over a year ago.  It’s something I still doodle variations of when I can’t think of anything else to draw.  I’m not sure why.  My guess?  I’m always dreaming of a cup of coffee strong enough to make the cup grow facial hair.