My new insurance only covers xray specs.

Over the past few months my union and my employer have been engaged in increasingly bitter contract negotiations.  It seems like our employer wants to make cutbacks everywhere – including insurance.  Nobody has said anything about xray specs, yet…

10 gallon hat hair.

If you ever feel like a challenge, try drawing hair to resemble a cowboy hat.

It isn’t easy.

If you learn to juggle…

I actually can juggle fairly well.  I could juggle chainsaws, I just choose not to.

Cavemen also went clubbing on the weekend.

Unlike celebrities and other popular people – I do not go clubbing on the weekend.  Flashing lights, large crowds, and loud noise pretty much describe the things in life I try hardest to avoid.

Sometimes it’s not “thinking outside the box.”

“Thinking outside the box,” is one of those phrases that I’m a little tired of hearing.  I have a question for any non-American visitors:  is the phrase used in your country?

On another note – no, I don’t feel badly for posting such a lame picture.  🙂

He knew he’d forgotten something…

I enjoy driving.  Sometimes I enjoy it too much and forget where I am supposed to be going.  When we were first married, my wife naturally took it upon herself to help redirect my attention if I was in danger of missing a turn.  She would tap on her window and say, “don’t forget we are going to the store/church/work/etc.”  As time went on, this routine was shortened to a simple window tap.

She would tap and I would turn.

I wasn’t even aware of the habit until one day we did it with a passenger in the car.

She tapped, I turned and  the passenger laughed until they were sick.

Pork chops do not equal mutton chops.

And the facial hair jokes continue…

His mustache can’t be stopped.

The question is – would this require lots of mustache wax or hair gel?  Or both?

It was a bit late to worry about repotting.

This drawing is based on the very first comic I ever drew.  I found it a few years ago on an old, crumpled sheet of lined notebook paper.  I was apparently in second grade at the time (as evidenced by my second grade teacher’s name in the upper right corner of the paper).  The wording was slightly different, but the idea was the same.  There were three other “comics” drawn on the page.  This was by far the best of the lot.

And he had only been a week from retirement.

I have often heard recently retired folks talk about how they are busier now then they’ve ever been.  They say it as if they are somehow suffering an ill fate.

???

If you are retired and you are looking for some sympathy about that situation, please don’t look at me.

I’m too busy to talk because I still have to work.

His belt buckle is epic.

I’m not a fan of giant belt buckles.  Firstly, they remind me of those giant belts professional “wrestlers” wear on TV.  Secondly, they look like they would make it very uncomfortable to sit down.

He stubbornly insisted his computer was a laptop.

My brother is an artist, a student, and an all-round great guy.  He also experiences autism.  One result of this fact is that he can be resistant to change.  Recently his computer died.  It was a hardware failure that affected several components.  I could have fixed it, but the computer was already fairly old so I thought  it would be a good time for a new machine.

My brother did not.

With some time and effort, I convinced him that a new computer would be the best choice.  He spent time picking out a system with all the features and abilities he was interested in.  The end result was that my brother is the proud new owner of a very snazzy laptop.

The next step?  Now I’m working on convincing him he can use it somewhere besides the computer desk.