Archive for the ‘art’ Category

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The new voting machines look familiar.

April 4, 2016

new voting machines

I was going to make few jokes here at the expense of the current presidential candidates, but at this point they honestly don’t need any help.

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Things that go “fist bump” in the night.

March 18, 2016

fist bump in the night

I know it’s been a long time since I posted any content on this blog, but my kids are growing up a bit and I find I have (slightly) more time on my hands.

Our youngest child is now three years old.  Unlike many others of his age, he has never resisted his bedtime.  In fact, he has a grand time rushing through an increasingly lengthy string of goodnight sayings to each member of the family.  These currently  include: good night, sleep tight, sweet dreams, night night, I love you, and see you in the morning.

However, the speed at which he rattles these phrases off at makes it sounds more like – “Goodnightsleeptightsweetdreamsnightnightiloveyouseeyouinthemorning!

It is usually the last thing he says before he  closes his door for the final bedtime story and snuggle with his Mom.

However, the other night he opened the door again seconds after closing it.  I waited to see what adorable phrase he was adding to the mix now.

He looked at me with his large ernest eyes and said very quietly, “Our house doesn’t have any ghosts…”

“…anymore.”

The door began to shut again.  Just before it clicked, he cracked it open once more and whispered, “Don’t be scared.

As I said above, I finally have enough time to start posting some new drawings.  Goodness knows I’m not using any of it sleeping anymore.

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His nail biting was getting worse.

May 31, 2010

He might be crazy, or he might just be taking his iron supplements.  Maybe it’s just the ones I’ve taken, but they taste remarkably like framing nails.

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Insurance cutbacks.

May 28, 2010

My health insurance provider has been making some unfortunate changes (higher premiums etc).  As far as I know they won’t be replacing traditional post-op treatments with band-aids.

Yet.

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Soccer hooligans.

May 27, 2010

I went hooligan fishing on Tuesday with a friend.  It was great.  Beautiful weather, very few people, and lots of fish.

LOTS of fish.  I’m not sure exactly how many fish my friend pulled out, but I think in the end he grabbed a few more than me.  This was impressive since I managed to get 252.

I breaded and panfried about a dozen of them for the family.  The bones are so small that they virtually cooked away.  They tasted fine, but hooligan are a “mushy” fish.  People told me this before I got them, but the idea of “mushy” didn’t bother me.

The reality of “mushy” did bother me (It was similar to breaded and panfried toothpaste).  Ick.

“Mushy” also bothered my family.

I have been informed that the remaining 240 fish are all mine.  Ick.

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Long walks sideways on the beach.

May 20, 2010

Keep an eye on his hands – I’m guessing this guy also likes to goose his dates.

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Yes, you can use too much lighter fluid.

May 17, 2010

Because it is barbeque season, I decided to post the best barbeque sauce recipe in world.  Really!  (It is actually a sauce and a second separate paste, but it is well worth the minimal extra effort.)

Enjoy!

The World’s Best Barbeque Sauce:

  • 2 c. grape soda (yup, grape soda)
  • 2 c. ketchup
  • 1/2 c. apple cider vinegar
  • 1/4 c. yellow mustard
  • 1/4 c. sugar
  • 4 TB black pepper
  • 2 TB Tabasco Sauce
  • 2 TB garlic salt

Simmer until thick (but still thinner than store brand) while stirring constantly.

Brush sauce directly onto the meat as it grills.  After sauce has thickened from heat of the grill, add a mixture of brown sugar and vinegar to the meat.  We have never measured the amounts of brown sugar or vinegar – just make sure it is thick.  You can also just do the sauce alone, but it is quite a bit spicier without the brown sugar and vinegar paste.

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The steroids were having some unexpected side effects.

May 4, 2010

When I was younger, I spent time at a local gym called Family, Fitness, and Fun.  There was one man who worked out at the same that was most definitely a steroid user.  Although he didn’t have horns or fangs, he suffered from regular bouts of “roid rage.”  One day he failed an attempted lift and started spewing every foul word imaginable.  It was so loud and so profane that everyone in the gym froze.

When he had finally finished, my friend loudly said, “FAMILY, fitness, and fun,” emphasizing the word family.  There were some laughs.  And even a few claps.  Obviously, everyone agreed the guy was out of line.

Almost everyone.

Personally, I was more concerned about making fun of the largest, angriest person in the room.

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Washington’s less famous false teeth.

May 2, 2010

I drew a Lincoln picture recently, so it was only fair that Washington got one too.  I saw a picture of his real dentures somewhere once.  Frankly, he would have been better off with the vampire fangs.

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Prescription strength novelty glasses.

April 30, 2010

This started out as a drawing of regular glasses, but somehow just got out of hand.

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It was time to get the mole on his cheek removed.

April 29, 2010

A few years ago I had to have a mole removed from my shoulder.  There was a very large man in the waiting room.  Very large.  He was wearing the biggest and dirtiest pair of overalls ever and spitting tobacco juice into a soda can.  Not exactly the ideal waiting room companion.  I tried to avoid eye contact, but he still spoke to me.

He said, “I hate the radio.  That music has too much &@$#ing bad language.”

Seriously.

What do you say to someone who uses foul language to complain about swearing?  I’m not sure because before I could say anything he followed up with…

“I only listen to opera.  It’s way classy.”

Who knew the waiting room would be more painful than the minor surgery I was waiting for.

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This power tie takes it to the next level.

April 25, 2010

Personally, I don’t wear ties very often.  I only wear them for weddings or funerals.  Odd that these two events are at opposite ends of the social spectrum, but they have the exact same dress code.  Hmmm.

I own two ties.  I actually only ever wear one of them because the other is very ugly.  I should give the ugly one away, but I can’t.  I’m not sure why.  It could be many reasons, but I think it could be because I need the illusion of choice.  Obviously I’ll never really wear the ugly tie, but as long as it is in the closet I could. Especially if I ever wear the really ugly shirt that also lives in the closet.

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Let’s put the “party” back into search party.

April 23, 2010

Next time you host a search party, make it an unforgettable one.  And if you added dancing and a live band, who wouldn’t want to be found!

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Spring fashions of the far north.

April 21, 2010

It is April 21st and I am still looking at snow in my backyard.  How about you?

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Abe Lincoln’s other hat.

April 20, 2010

Abraham Lincoln was a legend.  When I read his writings or speeches, I am amazed at his ability to express grand ideas with simple words.  He stood firm where others would have failed or compromised.  He exemplified the idea that anyone can succeed despite humble circumstances.

BUT he was born and raised in Kentucky.

So… I’m gonna go with my gut and guess he would have loved NASCAR.

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As impulse purchases go, it was a doozey.

April 19, 2010

The golf bag I drew is based on my own golf bag.  When I was in college I played quite a bit of golf when weather permitted.  Because my friends and I were poor college students, we couldn’t afford to rent clubs and I was the only person who owned a set (a wonderful present from my parents).  This was a problem.  The local course didn’t allow two players to share a set of clubs let alone a foursome.  Our solution:

We each learned to play with three clubs.

My “set” consisted of the putter, a nine iron, and a five iron.  I actually didn’t do too badly.  The original five iron was broken/replaced by one of my friends early on.  He replaced it with a used $8 five iron.   A used children’s $8 five iron.  A used children’s five iron that was also quite blackened and burned from being used repeatedly as a fire poker. (really)

Nevertheless, I can still hit fairly straight and consistent shots of almost 200 yards with my old, used, child-sized, fire poker.  Too bad it’s the only consistent thing in my golf game.

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Raise your heart rate without exercise.

April 18, 2010

I’m not a big fan of soft drinks.  Especially the “colas.”  They are way too sweet for me.  The commercials always show people running or playing basketball and then chugging a Pepsi or Coke or whatever.

Personally, I don’t think my stomach could take that much sugar right after a workout.  It would… rebel.

If you are unlike me, and like soft drinks, then here is a possible benefit you might not have thought of.

You’re welcome.

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Dogs in clothes.

April 16, 2010

The dogs that live in our house wear clothes.  Not all the time, mind you.  Just when they go outside.  That doesn’t make it right.  One dog has a sweatshirt just like the one in the picture.  That’s bad – but it isn’t the worst.

One of them has a fur coat.

And just so there isn’t any confusion, I’m not talking about the fur coat it was born with.  During winter when our dog does it’s business, it does it in a (faux) fur coat.

Has the world gone mad, or just my family?

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iCod

April 15, 2010

My Father loved puns.  He made them all the time.  He thought they were hilarious.  I did not.  The whole family would greet those puns with a uniform groan.

Now look at me.

Dad would be proud.

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Would a rose by any other name…

April 14, 2010

Time for some blog stats!

  • Total number of posts = 50
  • Days since blog began = 72
  • Total number of drawings = 76
  • Most visitors in a single day = 140
  • Different visitor countries of origin = 19  (United States, United Kingdom, Canada, Brazil, Malaysia, Russian Federation, Taiwan, Belgium, Hong Kong, Pakistan, Turkey, Romania, Israel, Australia, Vietnam, Thailand, Republic of Korea, Singapore, New Zealand)
  • Time wasted drawing/scanning/typing = unknown