Archive for the ‘art’ Category

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The steroids were having some unexpected side effects.

May 4, 2010

When I was younger, I spent time at a local gym called Family, Fitness, and Fun.  There was one man who worked out at the same that was most definitely a steroid user.  Although he didn’t have horns or fangs, he suffered from regular bouts of “roid rage.”  One day he failed an attempted lift and started spewing every foul word imaginable.  It was so loud and so profane that everyone in the gym froze.

When he had finally finished, my friend loudly said, “FAMILY, fitness, and fun,” emphasizing the word family.  There were some laughs.  And even a few claps.  Obviously, everyone agreed the guy was out of line.

Almost everyone.

Personally, I was more concerned about making fun of the largest, angriest person in the room.

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Washington’s less famous false teeth.

May 2, 2010

I drew a Lincoln picture recently, so it was only fair that Washington got one too.  I saw a picture of his real dentures somewhere once.  Frankly, he would have been better off with the vampire fangs.

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Prescription strength novelty glasses.

April 30, 2010

This started out as a drawing of regular glasses, but somehow just got out of hand.

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It was time to get the mole on his cheek removed.

April 29, 2010

A few years ago I had to have a mole removed from my shoulder.  There was a very large man in the waiting room.  Very large.  He was wearing the biggest and dirtiest pair of overalls ever and spitting tobacco juice into a soda can.  Not exactly the ideal waiting room companion.  I tried to avoid eye contact, but he still spoke to me.

He said, “I hate the radio.  That music has too much &@$#ing bad language.”

Seriously.

What do you say to someone who uses foul language to complain about swearing?  I’m not sure because before I could say anything he followed up with…

“I only listen to opera.  It’s way classy.”

Who knew the waiting room would be more painful than the minor surgery I was waiting for.

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This power tie takes it to the next level.

April 25, 2010

Personally, I don’t wear ties very often.  I only wear them for weddings or funerals.  Odd that these two events are at opposite ends of the social spectrum, but they have the exact same dress code.  Hmmm.

I own two ties.  I actually only ever wear one of them because the other is very ugly.  I should give the ugly one away, but I can’t.  I’m not sure why.  It could be many reasons, but I think it could be because I need the illusion of choice.  Obviously I’ll never really wear the ugly tie, but as long as it is in the closet I could. Especially if I ever wear the really ugly shirt that also lives in the closet.

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Let’s put the “party” back into search party.

April 23, 2010

Next time you host a search party, make it an unforgettable one.  And if you added dancing and a live band, who wouldn’t want to be found!

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Spring fashions of the far north.

April 21, 2010

It is April 21st and I am still looking at snow in my backyard.  How about you?