Archive for the ‘Cartoons’ Category

h1

The new voting machines look familiar.

April 4, 2016

new voting machines

I was going to make few jokes here at the expense of the current presidential candidates, but at this point they honestly don’t need any help.

h1

Things that go “fist bump” in the night.

March 18, 2016

fist bump in the night

I know it’s been a long time since I posted any content on this blog, but my kids are growing up a bit and I find I have (slightly) more time on my hands.

Our youngest child is now three years old.  Unlike many others of his age, he has never resisted his bedtime.  In fact, he has a grand time rushing through an increasingly lengthy string of goodnight sayings to each member of the family.  These currently  include: good night, sleep tight, sweet dreams, night night, I love you, and see you in the morning.

However, the speed at which he rattles these phrases off at makes it sounds more like – “Goodnightsleeptightsweetdreamsnightnightiloveyouseeyouinthemorning!

It is usually the last thing he says before he  closes his door for the final bedtime story and snuggle with his Mom.

However, the other night he opened the door again seconds after closing it.  I waited to see what adorable phrase he was adding to the mix now.

He looked at me with his large ernest eyes and said very quietly, “Our house doesn’t have any ghosts…”

“…anymore.”

The door began to shut again.  Just before it clicked, he cracked it open once more and whispered, “Don’t be scared.

As I said above, I finally have enough time to start posting some new drawings.  Goodness knows I’m not using any of it sleeping anymore.

h1

iCod

April 15, 2010

My Father loved puns.  He made them all the time.  He thought they were hilarious.  I did not.  The whole family would greet those puns with a uniform groan.

Now look at me.

Dad would be proud.

h1

Would a rose by any other name…

April 14, 2010

Time for some blog stats!

  • Total number of posts = 50
  • Days since blog began = 72
  • Total number of drawings = 76
  • Most visitors in a single day = 140
  • Different visitor countries of origin = 19  (United States, United Kingdom, Canada, Brazil, Malaysia, Russian Federation, Taiwan, Belgium, Hong Kong, Pakistan, Turkey, Romania, Israel, Australia, Vietnam, Thailand, Republic of Korea, Singapore, New Zealand)
  • Time wasted drawing/scanning/typing = unknown
h1

He never has bad hair days.

April 7, 2010

Wow.  With different eyes and a squiggle on his shirt, this guy would look like Charlie Brown.

h1

Cowboy coffee.

April 4, 2010

The above picture is a painted version of the very first sticky note cartoon I drew over a year ago.  It’s something I still doodle variations of when I can’t think of anything else to draw.  I’m not sure why.  My guess?  I’m always dreaming of a cup of coffee strong enough to make the cup grow facial hair.

h1

These pigtails are not as cute as some.

April 2, 2010

My 3 year old loves pigtails and ponytails.  My wife can whip her hair together in about 30 seconds. I, on the other hand, cannot.  It seems impossible.  The bands that are used to hold her hair are tiny.  VERY tiny.

I can’t get the bunch of hair into the band.  I can’t even get half the hair in the band.  I swear it just doesn’t fit.  Yet, it works for my wife.

I’m not sure how she does it, but I’m thinking magic.

h1

Pink. It’s his favorite color.

April 1, 2010

For anyone who doesn’t know, this quote is taken from the Aerosmith song, “Pink.”  The first live concert I saw as a teenager was an Aerosmith concert.  Aerosmith has been around quite awhile, but I was shocked to learn that Stephen Tyler is 62 years old this year.

He looked at least twice that old when I saw him.

h1

He suffers from lungfish.

March 31, 2010

Please take a moment to admire the finely drawn clavicles in the above picture.  They give the subtle impression of the patient being nude without showing actual nudity.

h1

Albino polar bears.

March 30, 2010

At least they wouldn’t generate much interest from me.

h1

Don’t hug trees (unless they say its okay)

March 28, 2010

Please don’t be offended.  This is not a joke about environmentalists.  It’s a joke about snobby trees.

h1

Ignore the full moon.

March 26, 2010

I realize this drawing might be of questionable taste.  I’m hoping that by including the word “phase” into a joke about the moon, I might have lifted it to a higher level.

If not, I’m okay with that too.

h1

Surprisingly average eyesight.

March 25, 2010

I wear contacts.  I wish I didn’t.  They take too much time to put in and take out again every day.  I would gladly wear glasses instead, but for one thing.

My ears.

As I said in an earlier post, my ears are over a quarter inch out of whack.  The disparity is much more obvious when I wear glasses.  So…

I don’t wear glasses.

h1

A black hat.

March 23, 2010

The “black hat” trend hold true in many situations.  Here are the ones I can think of:

  • Old west villains
  • 30’s era gangsters
  • Blood-thirsty pirates
  • The New York Yankees (Yes, technically they’re navy blue, but that’s close enough.)
h1

Liverdance.

March 22, 2010

I’ve known my wife since high school (although we were only friends until college).  At the time, Riverdance fever was sweeping the world.  I remember another friend and I made lots of jokes about Riverdance every time we saw it on the shelf at the movie rental place.

One day Riverdance was playing on PBS.  In some strange attempt to get to know me better, she decided to watch it.  The entire thing.  From beginning to end.

When she excitedly told me she had watched it, I had to tell her that I was only ever making fun of the cover.  I would certainly never watch it.  According to my wife childbirth and Riverdance are the two things in life I can never repay.

h1

Largemouth bass fiddle and the chaos theory.

February 26, 2010

If you are a bass fisherman, I apologize for the inaccurate rendering of the fish.  If you are a bass fiddle player, I apologize for the rendering of the fiddle.  If you don’t like bad puns, you should probably visit a different website.  I can’t apologize for everything.

I think most people are familiar with the Chaos Theory (thank you Jurassic Park).  If you have heard the theory before, the explanation in the drawing will sound very simplistic and somewhat slanted.

If you haven’t, please ignore the previous sentence.

h1

The same cartoon twice.

February 23, 2010

As you can see, I drew the same cartoon twice.  They are as close to being exact copies as I can manage without tracing.  I decided to draw it twice because I had just finished the top picture when I thought of a funnier caption (dang it!).

Although these drawing are only small sketches on yellow sticky notes, my limited drawing skills make creating them a laborious process.  In other words it takes time.  With one child and another on the way in a few short weeks, time is something I simply don’t have.  I suppose I could have just photoshopped the images, but……………… I……………… um…………….. (dang it!).

I should have just photoshopped it.

h1

Baby teeth and asexual reproduction.

February 19, 2010

Everyone knows about the tooth fairy.  When you loose a tooth, you put it under your pillow at night and wake in the morning to find money in it’s place.  When I was young, my teeth were worth a nickel.  It was very exciting every time it occurred.  This week, a six year old told me that he received $10 for his tooth.

$10.

I’m not old.  I’m not even close to old.  Yet, that child’s $10 bill represents a 200 fold increase in tooth value from the time I was young.  I think we can conclude only one thing from this trend.

Forget stocks and bonds – invest in teeth.

Perhaps a career in professional three-legged racing is in his future?