Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

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Some Topknots are more fabulous than fierce.

January 30, 2014

fabulous topknot

At the end of last year my wife and I celebrated a milestone.  Two of our three children are now able to operate with complete independence in the bathroom…

… or so we thought…

It was my Mother (Nana to the kids) who first noticed the suspicious drips and drops sprinkling her bathroom floor.  The splashes were noted again and again over the course of several weeks whenever our three-year-old (Emma) had been there.  Each time, the mysterious moisture was dismissed by Nana as the product of enthusiastic hand washing.

The way Nana tells the story, she accidentally walked in on Emma using the potty.   She opened the bathroom door to find her beautiful and perfect granddaughter bent over the toilet with one arm completely inside the bowl, vigorously splashing the contents.  Emma apparently looked at her and said brightly, “I’m cleaning the potty!”

Nana was so shocked that she didn’t say anything.  Emma evidently saw the concern on Nana’s face.  She followed up with, “It’s okay, I’m using a brush,” pulling her arm from the toilet and brandishing a dripping wet brush in her small hand.

It wasn’t actually a cleaning brush, but rather Nana’s hair brush.

The same hair brush Nana used on her head each and every day of her life after she bathed.

Each and every day – including the past several weeks that it had also been moonlighting as a toilet brush.

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Weapons of Mass Deduction.

July 31, 2013

weapons of mass deduction

Sometimes being a parent also means being a bit of a detective.

This could take the form of comforting a crying child while also trying to determine the cause of the tears.  It could be a case of frantically searching for a lost stuffed animal minutes before bedtime.

Most of the the time it just means figuring out what the smell is and where on earth it’s coming from.

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The centaur for disease control.

April 4, 2013

centaur of disease control

Our youngest recently had his second round of immunizations.  He was very brave.

With each of our daughters, these early check-ups were terrible.  They would cry from the minute we walked into the offices until the moment we left.  From 1-2 months onward they feared the doctor, the nurse, and even the receptionist despite the two month intervals between visits.  They recognized the faces and remembered that they were connected to painful shots.

This is amazing when you consider that babies this young are startled to discover they have feet.

Several times each day.

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Penguins don’t do casual Fridays.

February 23, 2013

penguins dont do casual

Two nights ago while brushing our teeth, I was asking our daughter Emma what sounds different animals make.  We started with the easy pet types (cats, dogs, and birds) before moving on to barnyard livestock (cows, roosters, pigs, horses).  Like every other two-year-old in the world, she was a pro at mimicking each of these creatures.

It wasn’t until we came to some of the more exotic members of the wild kingdom that things started to get interesting.

          Me: What does an elephant sound like?

          Emma: Achoooooooo!

          Me: Achoooooooo?

          Emma: Yeah.  Their big noses…  achoooooooo!

          Me: Okay.  How about a Penguin?

         Emma: /high-pitched, squeaky voice/ Penguin, penguin, penguin.

         Me: That’s what they say?

          Emma: Baby penguins.  Mama penguins say – PENGUIN, PENGUIN, PENGUIN!

          Me: Wow.  Well, what noise do monkeys make?

          Emma: I like pink bananas!

She delivered each of these answers with no hesitation and complete confidence.  At the moment, we’re not sure if she’s a little bit brilliant or just completely batty.

Either way, she’s awfully entertaining.

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Obviously, he’s all talk.

May 6, 2011

Our younger daughter is now 14 months old.  So far, she appears to have very little interest in talking.  She can say “Mama” and “Da-da.”  Sometimes she even surprises us with “no.”

Usually she just shrieks.

If she is happy, she shrieks.  If she is frustrated, she shrieks.  If she is excited, she shrieks.  What is strangest of all is that it is the exact same shriek in every situation.  No matter what she wants/needs/is trying to express, she uses the same noisy nonsense.

I’m thinking she has a future in politics.

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He decided to upgrade his memory.

February 25, 2011

I often show my older daughter pictures before I post them.  I like to ask her what she sees.  Usually, even from her unique four-year-old perspective, she “gets” the jokes (or at least recognizes that the picture is silly).  Usually, but not always.  When I showed her the drawing above, our conversation ran like this:

Me: What is this?

Her: Is it a guy with a hat?

Me: Hmmmm.  Well, it’s supposed to be something that you think with.

Her: A thinking cap?

Me: Okay… think about something that is inside your head.

Her: Oh!  I know!  Vitamins and minerals!

Me: … um… good guess, but it’s supposed to be a big brain.

Her: I don’t think so.  Maybe it’s a furry hat!

Who said we were supposed to be our own worst critic?  Whoever it was, I’m guessing they didn’t have kids.