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All societies have their snobs (300th post).

July 4, 2014

water snob

This marks my 300th post on wordpress.com.

I’m pretty sure that’s important.  I think there might be a special VIP club for 300 post snobs like myself.  Or does 300 posts earns me a major award?  A personal letter of recognition from WordPress founder & CEO Matt Mullenberg wouldn’t be amiss (along with some stock options).

At the very least, I think I’ve earned some frequent flyer miles.

If 300 posts won’t get me any perks at WordPress, perhaps a few of these other stats might:

  • total number of comments = 1,220
  • total number of blog followers = 9,298 (wow!)
  • total number of cartoons posted = 355
  • total number of posts published in a print magazine = 2
  • total number of tattoos that were inspired by my drawings = 2
  • total number of  Thai restaurants illegally using my artwork = 1

Even the Thai restaurant display is flattering (in a way).  Here are photos of the Thai restaurant in question and my original art:


Broccolimy broccoli

If the owner of this Thai restaurant is reading this post, please contact me so I can… thank you… for displaying my art in your fine establishment.

 

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His creative outlet is quite literal.

June 12, 2014

creative outlet

I have talked about my brother before on this blog.  He is a wonderful and very artistic young man.

He also experiences autism.

His creativity and his strong literal sense combine to form a very interesting outlook on life.  Although he has many strengths in his personality, spontaneous humor is not among them.  Because of this, my Father was determined to teach Joe how to tell a joke.  He started with the old classic, “What’s black and white and read all over?”  When the punchline of, “newspaper” was given, Joe would act confused.  Dad would explain the wordplay involved and why it was funny.  Joe would then agree newspapers were read all over the world, but would never break even the slightest smile during the exchange.

As time went on, they went through the same routine repeatedly.

Most men would have admitted defeat.  Most men would have simply accepted that some battles were not worth fighting.  My Father was not most men.  Again and again he would patiently march once more unto the breach – continuing to practice the same joke with the same results.

Every.  Single.  Time.

In fact, it went on for years.  As time passed, the explanation of the punchline and Joe’s expressionless reaction became a tradition that proved far more entertaining than the original joke ever was.  It played out more times then I can possibly count.  It gradually became an in-joke for our family.

My Father passed away six years ago.  Although I tried to continue the tradition, it just wasn’t the same.  We still joked about the exchanges, but it was relegated to category of fond memory.

During dinner a few months ago, Joe surprised everyone by asking, “What’s black and white and read all over?”  We all sat in stunned silence for a moment until my oldest daughter finally asked, “what?”

Joe replied with, “A newspaper…”

And after a heartbeat’s hesitation added “… that’s read all over,” while breaking into an uncontrollable fit of the giggles.

 

 

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Somebody is feeling lucky!

March 16, 2014

In early February, I received an email from a lovely young woman named Jay.  It read as follows:

Hey! So, recently I decided that I really wanted a lucky rabbit’s foot tattoo. Desperate for ideas, I tried a Google search. Luckily (ha ha),  I found your awesome sketch and fell in love. Your sketches are fantastic! I saw someone else had tattooed some of your artwork and I decided that I would join the club. And, well, I figured I’d send it to you!

Voila! Hope you dig it.

Cheers,
Jay

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Here is a photo of Jay’s awesome new tattoo.

lucky rabbit foot unlucky rabbit

Here is the original comic (rotated for comparison and for people web surfing while lying in bed).

Well, I do dig it Jay!  I also think your tattooist did a great job creating  the illusion of depth with his/her shading technique.  It looks great and I am deeply honored to know that there are at least two people now permanently wearing one of my little pictures (here is the first).

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Not many can claim such a refined pallet.

February 23, 2014

refined pallet

In 2013, my wife and I made a different type of New Year’s resolution.  Rather than working on changing ourselves, we decided to focus on spending time together and trying new things on a monthly basis.  As anyone with young children knows, time is always at a premium and we wanted to make sure we had some time reserved for us.  We ended up spending our “us time” reading some new books, cooking a few interesting recipes, and creating a handful of surprisingly beautiful art projects – all together.

It was obviously a more enjoyable resolution to keep than loosing weight or exercising.

For 2014, we wanted to try something that would continue focusing on the time we spend together as a couple.  We settled on a bi-monthly wine and cheese night.  This is a pretty big area of novelty for us because, until now, we have both been non-drinkers.

So far, the cheeses have been quite good (with the exception of a gruyere that smelled/tasted like a dirty old gym sock wrapped in a dirty old jockstrap).

The wines have been a bit more hit and miss.  We tried a very dry red which was fairly harsh.  There was a pink moscato that was very, very acidic.  The two ice wines we have sampled both proved to be quite tasty.  We even bought an expensive aged tawny port that tasted exactly like prune juice and gasoline.  The best so far was a nice Moscato d’ Asti – very light and sweet.

When ranking our picks thus far, we discovered that if we simply listed the wines from the lowest alcohol content (5%) to the highest (20%), it correlated exactly from our favorite to least favorite picks.  The less alcohol in the bottle, the more we enjoyed it.

Essentially, we like grape juice.

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Everyone likes a naval orange.

February 9, 2014

naval orange

Just kidding – those things are the worst.  I prefer my fruit free of pesticides AND umbilicus.

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Some Topknots are more fabulous than fierce.

January 30, 2014

fabulous topknot

At the end of last year my wife and I celebrated a milestone.  Two of our three children are now able to operate with complete independence in the bathroom…

… or so we thought…

It was my Mother (Nana to the kids) who first noticed the suspicious drips and drops sprinkling her bathroom floor.  The splashes were noted again and again over the course of several weeks whenever our three-year-old (Emma) had been there.  Each time, the mysterious moisture was dismissed by Nana as the product of enthusiastic hand washing.

The way Nana tells the story, she accidentally walked in on Emma using the potty.   She opened the bathroom door to find her beautiful and perfect granddaughter bent over the toilet with one arm completely inside the bowl, vigorously splashing the contents.  Emma apparently looked at her and said brightly, “I’m cleaning the potty!”

Nana was so shocked that she didn’t say anything.  Emma evidently saw the concern on Nana’s face.  She followed up with, “It’s okay, I’m using a brush,” pulling her arm from the toilet and brandishing a dripping wet brush in her small hand.

It wasn’t actually a cleaning brush, but rather Nana’s hair brush.

The same hair brush Nana used on her head each and every day of her life after she bathed.

Each and every day – including the past several weeks that it had also been moonlighting as a toilet brush.

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The day after Halloween is when the real monsters appear.

November 2, 2013

real monsters come after halloween

This Halloween was our first with three children.  Our youngest is only 11 months so he didn’t care about costumes (we gave him a cape anyway).  Our oldest is in first grade and cared a great deal about costumes.  She chose Batgirl – it was a homemade costume that ended up looking very cool.  Our middle child stubbornly insisted on being a “Princess-Cowboy-Superhero.”

She definitely proved the most challenging…

…as usual…

 

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